So, you eat cereal for dinner and can barely cook an egg. No else needs to know that.
Put a bunch of shit in jars
You know when you buy rice, pasta or grains, they come in perfectly good plastic packaging? Well throw them out, pour the contents into big jars and put them on display. This shows that you are a good homemaker with a sense of rustic, country charm.
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Put some big bottles of mineral water in the fridge
Your guests don't need to know that you usually drink water out of the kitchen tap. If you really want to wow them, when you give them a glass of water, just give them the sparkling stuff without even mentioning it. They'll think you drink fancy water ALL THE TIME.
Clean your bathroom
That's right. I said it. Don't look at me like that. At the very least, squirt some bleach in the toilet, wipe down the mirror and make your sink taps shiny. Admit it, the bathroom was overdue for a clean anyway.
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Hide your disgusting toothbrush
When guests come over, it is opposite day for the bathroom. Take all the stuff you actually use off the vanity and chuck it in the cupboard. Then take all the stuff you never use out of the cupboard and display them. Most of these things will be gifts from people who don't know you that well or miniature hand creams you've swiped from hotels. Now's their time to shine.
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